I just have to share this with everyone! I DID NOT WRITE THIS even though it sounds like something that would happen to me or several of my "Lucy and Ethel" friends. Please enjoy and give me no credit for the truth of the matter: (Be sure to have a tissue for all the tears! Oh, and go TT before you start!)
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usuallyfind a line of women, so you smile politely and take yourplace.
Onceit's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall isoccupied.
Finally,a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving thestall.Youget in to find the door won't latch.It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet yourpants!Thedispenser for the modern "seat covers"(invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy,but empty.
Youwould hang your purse on the door hook, ifthere was one,but there isn't- so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it ontheFLOOR!),
yank down your pants, and assume" The Stance.">
Inthis position your aging, toneless(God I should have gone to the gym!!!)thigh muscles begin to shake.
You'dlove to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or laytoilet paper on it, so you hold"The Stance".>
Totake your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to bethe empty toilet paper dispenser.
In your mind, you can hear your mother's voicesaying,"Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you wouldhave KNOWNthere was no toilet paper!"
Your thighs shake more.
Youremember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in yourpurse.(Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying notto strangle yourself at the same time)..That will have to do.
You crumple it in thepuffiestway possible. It's stillsmallerthan your thumbnail.
Someonepushes your door open because the latch doesn't work.
Thedoor hits your purse,which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest,and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet.
"Occupied!"you scream,as you reach for the door, dropping your precious,tiny,crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, andslide down directly onto the TOILETSEAT.
It is wet of course.You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late.
Yourbare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on theuncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper- not that there was any, even ifyou had taken time to try.
You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a publictoilet seat because, frankly,dear,"You just don't KNOW whatkind of diseases you could get".
> By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of thebowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down yourlegs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too
At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toiletseat. You're e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d.
You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out in conspicuously to the sinks.>
Youcan't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, .....so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry papertowel and walk past the line of women stillwaiting.>
Youare no longer able to smile politely to them.A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet papertrailing from your shoe.(Where was that when you NEEDEDit??)
You yank the paper from yo ur shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell herwarmly,"Here, you just might need this".>
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left themen's restroom..
Annoyed, he asks,"What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around yourneck?" ...................>
This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms(rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long.
It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom inpairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse, and hand youKleenex under the door!>>
Send this to all women that understand what bondingin the bathroom is all about!> AFriend Is Like A Good Bra...> Hardto Find...> Supportive....> Comfortable ....AlwaysLifts You Up...NeverLets You Down, or Leaves You Hanging,> And Is Always Close To YourHeart!!!> Sharewith anyone who needs a good laugh!>No virus found in this incoming message.> Checkedby AVG - www.avg.com> Version: 8.5.392 / Virus Database: 270.13.55/2301 -Release Date: 08/13/09 18:16:00
from our church and a few brave parents, and 
from our church and a few brave parents, and 
Chloe got to play a demon in the HV! Does this angel look like she could be that part! Oh my.... She liked getting to be the bad part for once! She is normally a swan or rose in the ballet and this was NOT BALLET!
(Is that possible? I don't know, I couldn't understand the words?!) Our youth were a little out of place I think, but enjoyed the whole experience. The place was packed with all aged rockers! 
(Is that possible? I don't know, I couldn't understand the words?!) Our youth were a little out of place I think, but enjoyed the whole experience. The place was packed with all aged rockers! 
Sam says: "Is it over yet?!"
